Choosing to grow.

Yesterday was such a different day to today.

The sun was shining for one. The children and I took Lulu, our puppy up to the Sussex downs, right to the top where we could see the whole world - and then with uncontrollable giggles we all rolled down - our hair and clothes covered in leaves, all of us without a care - yesterday there were rainbows.

And then today I feel it is important to be emotionally honest and say it is a grey day and I am feeling grey -

The woods were dark and damp today as we walked Lulu and although the children and I laughed as they slid down the muddy sides of the hill - I did not feel the rainbows.

It is nothing to do with the weather - it is just how I feel and I know that this emotion has a message for me - as soon as the monkeys are in bed, (it is the school holidays), I know I will be able to sit and completely feel this feeling - so that I can listen, learn, digest the message and let go.

It may be very, very simple such as that I need to rest or bathe in light for a while - but there is one thing I am certain of - there is no point at all in masking it - I choose to step into that space of silence - grow and move through it -

And this is why I am writing to you, it is important to be in touch with our feelings, to be emotionally honest at all times - too many people have lost touch with their emotions and so have forgotten how to feel. They see that as protection when actually it only causes more hurt and eventually illness.

Others mask their feelings - not being honest with others or themselves.

Others allow themselves to be controlled by their emotions and slip away down that muddy river. When they choose to pull themselves out and see the emotion is not who they are but a "message in a bottle" is a choice that each one of us as to make - some people take years, some take days - Masters take moments.

Today was a grey day but the rainbows are still there. It is simply a choice to "see" them.


"God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them." Stanley Lindquist