The very core of you.

This growth period I have been growing through since Christmas, in some ways is so "easy" as so many layers that no longer fit have already been removed in the past seven years, that the process is natural and the knowing of what is happening makes it more manageable to cope.

And yet, what is happening now - is the very core of me - the hardest part to accept and forgive - for I had forgotten these memories, taken myself out of my body as I sang Hickory Dickory Dock - until recently when a beautiful soul payed a brief visit into my life, a baby that made me love parts of my body that I had not sent so much love or acceptance to before- This is the core of me, that will be my greatest healing. I am breaking free!

To be all we are, to receive all we desire, we need to be what it is we seek, perfectly aligned with love, peace, abundance, joy - and so my daily practice as been just so and I have lived just so. Daily affirmations, meditation, positive thoughts and feelings - and yet some things were flowing and some were not - And now I understand for the very, very core of me was not in flow, a feeling that would arise now and again and knock me off balance but did not have a label - a tiny "pip" of unworthiness, anger and grief - a child of only seven years old who has still played a part in a 35 year olds theatre.

How can life be perfection when something deeper than deep lies within you in confliction, beyond your conscious knowledge and yet so much a part of your life.

So that is what I am trying to explain and hoping I am making some sense. On some layers you may be joy, peace, love, kindness, beauty and yet life is not quite flowing as the beautiful river you truly are - just one tiny pebble is preventing a consistent flow - you just need to find the behavioural pattern of self abuse you play in your life and yet accuse everyone and everything else of making you feel that way - then once you have found it - be willing to discover when in your life that "pip" was planted - and then understand why you have felt you have needed to live by this belief or in this shadow for so long. Now accept, forgive and let go.

You are beautiful - here - NOW - and deserve to have and be everything that reflects that beauty back to you - detach from your life for a moment, find the pattern from the past - and break free.

You can do it!!